As previously mentioned, one of the bones of contention with me regarding this issue was the grassroots/ low level implication that either she deserved what she got (a provoked attack) or that she should have shut up and too her licks (instead of 'snitching').
Excuse me, but don't I matter? Am I not worth anything? What is up with this 'snitching' business? If a man (or anyone for that matter) beats the crap out of me, I should drag myself home quietly, patch myself up and keep my mouth shut because if I tell someone or call the police - I am a snitch??? Fer real?
I can imagine and identify with the turmoil R must have felt in the aftermath, if I cooperate with the police or testify against him in court, people will accuse me of trying to ruin his career. I can imagine that being in the same industry, she would understand what a blow 'this sort of publicity' would have been to someone like him; but at the end of the day, that was not her responsibility to bear. It was his choice to 'snap'/'lose control'/whatever and as such his responsibility to bear those consequences however detrimental to his career/public image.
Watching her speak, you can see at times she is still very 'annoyed' by the whole thing. It IS embarrassing, especially when you have some women laughing and saying "Well, if it were me, he could've never beat me like that" (implying R was weak or stupid or that something was wrong with her that CB would beat her but not them). Or what about men and women in the community who claim "A lil hand never hurt nobody", when clearly it did.
Historically, domestic abuse in our communities has been high, why this is I don't know. I'll leave that to people like the Mongoose Chronicles to postulate upon. However, frequency does not make it right.
Just as I can see that CB was a kid trying to find his way, I can see the same elements in R. They were young and growing together in a very public way. When things fell apart it also happened in a very public and humiliating way. I can't imagine having to deal with that.
R also fell into the trap many women fall into: after a random act of violence they return to their lover thinking (hoping) it was just that one time and it'll be all good from here on in. Unfortunately for many women, they don't get another chance at freedom; many lose their lives and it seems that only once they are dead to those around them think "oh well, maybe we should have listened or been more supportive, but I never thought he'd kill her..."
I am glad for both of them that R is still alive.
She mentioned that in their relationship they had both become dangerous for eachother because the relationship had started to border on 'obsession'. At least they (she?) can recognise that and hopefully avoid those signs in future.