Monday, 18 October 2010

1 day and 30 locs

Heads are rather funny shaped things. You don't really notice until they are devoid of hair... and I mean ALL hair because with SOME hair (like a TWA or even the tennis ball fuzz) you still have some sort of moulding and shape diffusion going on.  With a bald head - everything is laid .. well.. bare.

Today I lost 30 locs.
The first two or three loosened and fell in solitude.
I leaned over to put something in my bag - and picked one out of the bag on my way back up;
I lifted another from my collar when I turned to talk to someone... the third dropped onto my desk as I wrote in my notebook.
Disturbing but 'dealable' (ie I could deal with it).

The other 27 left my head like they were the Israelites following Moses... or maybe they were running the London Marathon and some announcer somewhere unbeknownst to me had just said:
"on your mark, get set, GO!"  
Maybe it's some new form of bungee jumping:
                         "Hey locs and loose hairs, on the count of three, everybody jump off... ready? 1-2....!"

I dunno ...

but they all left.

It took me 3 years to grow my hair (1 year to grow a set of locks I was actually rather fond of) and onlyy 4 months to lose it all. What is this - a casino? I feel like a gambler who amassed a small fortune and then blew it all during a whimsical trip to Vegas.

Some people think I am exaggerating. Well I'm not (see pictures below post).

I think my husband thinks I am having an affair with my GP (doctor). I see him every 2 weeks.

He looks at my head with a magnifying glass and insists that he can see new growth.  Personally this growth must be microscopic cos I can't see it - or maybe you just need an infrared light to shine on it first... (or maybe he's just lying). Anyhoo - he tries to convince me all hope is not lost and I give him my "do I look like I am buying this?" look and he tells me to come back in two weeks and we'll see he was right.... only for me to come back, snatch my hat off and say: "the only thing that's growing is this bald spot..." Honestly, I think I just go there for some comic relief these days cos it's just ridiculous. That said he is cute so I might as well enjoy the view while I'm there. Additionally - he is balding himself and for some sad mean reason - I find that consolatory. I suppose 'misery really does love company!'

My friend Joratio (clearly not her real name, but she thinks she's the female version of CSI Miami's Horatio) - well she likes to drop cheesy one liners (like Horatio). She says I should look in the mirror and just be beautiful. I pointed out that I don't like to look in the mirror anymore because all I see is FACE. Honestly... face and HEAD. Not my favourite view. If the mirror had a switch I would change the channel. lol. I don't need to see my teeth to brush them - let's just hope I'm not walking around with last night's cabbage stuck between them!

Frequently, people ask me what caused my hair loss. Well I don't think Sherlock Holmes, Magnum P.I or Grissom, Mac and H together could figure this one out (although I wouldn't mind being interrogated by Detective Flack or that scrumptious Hill Harper bloke - hey bald headed women have to have fun somehow!).  The lead suspects thus far are :

  • post partum shedding aka telogen effluvium (severity increased due to me having two babies back to back with little recovery time in between)
  • post partum thyroiditis (an autoimmune condition of unknown cause)
  • hypothyroidism
  • alopecia areata (an autoimmune condition of unknown cause)
  • post partum hair loss caused by prolonged vitamin and mineral deficiencies due to malabsorption during pregnancy (caused by hyperemis gravidarum) and/or insufficient time to allow for accumulation of said minerals and vitamins between pregnancies.
  • because I am female/short/Bajan/British/Black/
  • for no reason at all

Seriously, I am not convinced I will ever know why and these days I don't even care. I'm currently staying in a hotel and far more annoying that looking at my bald reflection in the mirror is the annoying kiddie music coming from the room next door.... listen kiddies, it is WAAAAAAAAAY past your bed time - don't you have school tomorrow? No? Well I do... think you could let me sleep?

Anyway - since I'm weird like this - this post is dedicated to the 30 locs who jumped off my head today.

Why you jumped we may never know... but you will not be forgotten, no, I'll remember you and shake my head because things must really be bad up there if you'd rather lie on the cold cold floor than on my warm (un)round head.

Hasta La Vista babies.

NB: click on photos for credit (except the photos of the locs which are mine so clicking on them will only make them bigger.) 
These are my words and this is my journey, from 'there to hair'!  My life, the lessons learned in and through love and loves ones; and my hair affairs. 


Locs2Envy said...

hello BL,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation with your hair. I'm not sure if you are on medications or not but it sounds like your hair is stressed. This can be caused from chemical buildup....not just from products that you may put on your hair but also from medications etc that you ingest. Try a really good clarifying shampoo to try to remove the toxins from your hair. Mental stress can also cause your hair to fall out. I have experienced hair loss from stress (about the size of a grapefruit)myself. I am also on some serious meds so I clarify my hair at least every 4-5 weeks. Truly hoping that your fix is something as simple as my suggestion. Keep your head up. You are beautiful no matter what shape head you have. Embrace it!

Kreyola said...

I wish I can help but I can't. To be honest it took two years after having my daughter to fix (or did it fix itself) the issue that I had with my hair. I mean we will never know WHY but I love your sense of humor and I really admire your guts. You are one savvy woman and your husband and kids are lucky to have a beautiful, strong black woman in their life. For some reason writing relieve my stress and I hope your writing and your wonderful sense of humor release you from your stress and unhappiness concerning your hair. Be blessed and I will continue to pray for you.

Unknown said...

It is so good to see you are upbeat! All I can say is, I wish someone told me to save all the locks I lost, who knows, maybe for reasons as mysterious as why they left, they will start growing, and you can create yourself a natural lock weave! Seriously I saw it done on Kalia dewdrops blog, she re attached those babies! Sending prayers from the other side of the pond!

Titus 2 Thandi said...

Sis, your post was sad and funny at the same time.Thinking of you and still praying.

anthia-ofo said...

It's good to keep your sense of humour. I truly feel for you. It's just not fair for you to have to endure this. But chin up. It shall pass. What the enemy meant for evil, God will work it out for your good.

The Woman Inside said...

Well I will believe the cute doc when he sais it is growing back!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ms Elliott said...

All of this 'unknown cause stuff' really annoys me. If these were illnesses affecting men, I think the causes would no longer be 'unknown'. Pah

We want answers dammit!

Denise said...

Bajan Lily, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. However, I love that you can have a sense of humor in spite of! Your hair will grow back in no time. Keep the faith and speak life to your scalp.

Lady Butterfly said...

I AM SOOO SORRY TO HAVE LEARNED ABOUT THIS STRUGGLE IN YOUR JOURNEY! Stay positive. Continue to take your pre-natal vitamins, vit E, C, iron and DHA. This may help with your deficiency! I totally agree with Denoise speak life!
Much Love Sis!
Lady Buttterfly

V @ Locks-N-Motion said...

I'm sorry Sis that you are still going through this, but I admire your positive spirit about your situation. Rrmain positive and strong, like I said before this too shall come to pass.

KristinaHH said...

Oh dear...I was surprised when I got your messages today but really did not understand the extent of your hairloss and struggle. If I could give you a locs transplant that would spread across your head I would. Anyway...keep good.

Evie said...

I hadn't checked in on you in awhile and was surprised as I read your posts (getting caught up..)! You have an amazing sense of humor and I totally understand. I lost all my hair twice due to chemo. I've had my locs now for almost a year. I know this is devastating, but hang in there. Keep your sense of humor and I will keep praying that they can figure this all out! Peace and many blessings. Evie


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