Monday, 4 October 2010

Lost This Battle (can I still win the war?)

Since June, I have tried to remain upbeat and focus on the positive; I have spent many a evening counting my blessings, and each morning brings a new mercy to give thanks for... But today, my heart is heavy. Today I acknowledge that this battle is over.
I have lost my locks.
Funny how- when I finally fell in love with my hair, every strand, kink, curl and knot- that's when I lost them all: every strand, kink, curl and knot.

My last retightening session was the last week in July. I used to need a session every 4-6 weeks but it has been almost 11 weeks and there is still no new growth.

Instead, there have been handfuls of lost locks. Over a third have already left my head, the rest are hanging by strands. I have such large bald spots that covering them with my own hair is no longer possible. This weekend I will visit a wig specialist. Had there been new growth amidst the bald patches there may have been hope for repairing the thinning locks and reattaching the lost ones. However this is not the case. I am facing total hair loss from my scalp which leaves me with two options: walk bald or hide under a 'hair replacement unit' . I'm not looking forward to having straight hair ( I've never seen a lock wig)!

Being ill sucks.


Welcome to http://lovelifelocks.blogspot.com  These are my words and this is my journey, from 'there to hair'!  My life, the lessons learned in and through love and loves ones; and my affair with my hair - my locks.  WELCOME TO THE TAPESTRY OF ME....

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

My mother always says to count your blessings and not your troubles. You are blessed with happy healthy children and the opportunity to see them grow and become productive citizens one day. I am sure they will always love you. God gives us only as much as we can handle. Wear your "hair unit" with your head held high. True beauty comes from within and radiates out anyway.

The Woman Inside said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. But the war is not over you will find away to take care of your issue and grow your hair once again. Till then do hold your head high, bc you are so beautiful, you have a wonderful blessed family and things will turn around. Many Blessings to you.

Mrs Mac's Corner... said...

Bajan, I dont know what to say, I am saddened to read this. As the previous poster said, you are a beautiful woman and sometimes these thing are sent to try us, do not loose faith and try and smile having knowledge and understanding, part of this journey is knowing what works for you, love and acceptance, love yourself every step of the way and hold your head high cause real beauty is from the inside and you trully shine and are an inspiration x

Kreyola said...

I’m so sorry to hear that. My heart ache for you and I’m so touch by your story. I know it is tough to see your blessing now but later on you will. You are one beautiful and courage’s woman who has been through it all, yet you still fight and inform every one of your struggles, even though it a heartbreaking one. I’m so very proud of you. Remember to do what makes you happy and comfortable, even if it mean wearing a hair replacement unit, because we all want to be comfortable and happy no matter what. Be blessed and I am sending a prayer your way.

Afrolady said...

I am so sorry to hear about your hair loss. But, I am so honored to know someone who is so strong!! I don't think I would have had the courage to share that story - so I deeply admire you for that.

Where do you go from here? In whatever direction it takes to make you happy. If it's wearing a wig or letting your bare head shine like a full moon - you do YOU and let that inner strength shine for all the world to see.

Be blessed!!!!!!!!

Nai said...

Bajan Lily
I have missed your 'voice' very much and you have been on my mind ... Sweetie ... get a curly one, a straight one, a long one and a short one, then switch it up and be natural!!!! If you have to walk this road then walk it hard!! I don't have the words, so I will do what comes naturally ... until the day we hear that you rocking a TWA!!! Thank you for sharing hun, and please keep blogging, this too shall pass and leave a GREAT testimony for those who come after.

You ARE BLESSED! xoxo

Anonymous said...

It's quite serendipitous that, while I have read so many sisterlocks blogs this is the first time I've run across yours and yesterday was the first time I'd heard of Gerrylocks, which are locked hairpieces. Perhaps I encountered it just do i could tell you. Here's a link that might be helpful, or you can just google it. http://www.impactfolios.com/gerrymayo/page8951.htm

I wish you all the best on this interlude in your journey.

Euphoria's Sisterlocks said...

it saddens me to hear of your loss, as a lock wearer with a huge bald spot & no cure in sight that is one of my biggest fears that mine to will travel that path, I have no words of comfort to give you because I know our hair is our crown & glory, it is the first thing that people see when they look at you,even though I have no words of comfort know that you are not alone & I stand firm on Gods word that by His strips we are healed,(patiently waiting on His healing)

Thandi said...

:( Praying that through this all, you retain the beauty of character that you have. Praying that that sunshiny smile of yours will beat away the blues.i don't know what to say.i'm so sad that things have deteriorated this much. I hate this disease.

anthia-ofo said...

Sis, this is very distressing. But please don't lose hope. Do what you have to do. You can get a gerryloc piece(I got one, which I use occasionally) or wear stylish wigs.Like nai says,walk it hard! You're beautiful, with or without locs. I'm going to blog about an all natural product called T444Z. Apparently many people have been helped by it. My friend swears a lady she knowS who had a large bald patch grew her hair back. Thats how we found out about it, so I'm trying it. Will keep you posted. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning....

V @ Locks-N-Motion said...

Sis.... I just want you to know that you are not alone. I finally had the courage to post pictures of my experience with hair loss, I also done something drastic. But I'm still remaining optomistic and you should too. Although we may have lost our hair at least we have not lost our minds and I think that being sane is such a precious gift. I often work with pt's who have either lost theirs literally or have Alzheimer's and I feel so sorry that they are losing their special memories and can not remember who their own loved ones are. Like the other's say let's be thankful for the great things that we still have. Hope all is well. Take Care,

V

Nihu said...

My last comment got "lost" somehow so I'll keep it short and sweet this time...lol....try the below listed website. They have lock wigs and a variety of hair pieces etc. As a professional cosmetologist, this is the company I use for great quality hair.

http://www.hisandher.com/default.aspx

Bajan Lily said...

Thanks everybody. I know it sounds cliche - but I really do appreciate every word of support and encouragement. Even when I am too 'down' to 'blog', I come and read these comments and remind myself that there is plenty of happy still left for me!

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